wHATZ tHE fUN iN wHISKY

I was home alone for a nite as my parents went to Karjat to visit my grandma. I called up Nil to ask whether he was interested in camping at my place. He came over at ten and we settled in my balcony. Chips, milds, whisky, sprite and lotsa water. Alcohol causes dehydration; drink as much water as possible, a rule of thumb we inherited from our uncles and parents as a ‘How To …. Guide for life after 25 !!”

We discussed at length on the ever hot topic in both our households ………… “Marriage”. Girls we met till date for matrimony purposes, expectations and disappointments. We then moved to relatives and kinda gossiped like the elderly ‘Aatyas’, when they meet at a get together after a long time. Soon it was midnight and hunger took over all our senses.

“Kya khate?” I aked Nil
“Lets go to Great Punjab and have chicken”
“I have an idea, let us parcel chicken handi. Mom has got left batter in the fridge, we will make nice hot dosa’s”
“I am game, alto ……. Lets go”

We head banged our way to the hotel, which is open till four in the morning. We ordered for our food, paid the bill and waited for the parcel.

Cause: Whisky

Effect 1:
Great Punjab had a live Dhol player that nite, who entertained guests at every table. Nil’s adrenaline surged listening to the rhythm.

“Shall I go and dance with them?” he asked me
“Ja na dude”

Nil joined three different groups doing bhangra with them. Finally he came back.

“Boss, you should learn to play the dhol, then I will come every weekend to dance at your place” Nil said.
“Chal dude, we got the parcel” I dragged Nil with me.

Effect 2:
We came home and I put the pan for heating. As I swirled the first dosa on the pan Nil chirped ….

“Champo, we did not get the rotis, I hope the dosa’s work out”
“What do you mean by ‘work out’, you don’t trust me? Lemme prove it dude” I replied

Suddenly the flame flickered and died. We have a twenty-one cylinder centralized pipe gas, which has another twenty one cylinder backup. NMC guaranteed the pipe will never run out of gas; I did not want to prove them wrong at two in the morning and when we were dead hungry that we could eat an entire horse. I tried relighting the burner, each one of them, but in vain.

The pipe ran dry. The dosa still half cooked.


Effect 3:
I remembered the cylinder lying in our guest room balcony. I asked Nil to unplug the pipe gas hose from the burners till I got the cylinder from the balcony. As I carried the cylinder in my right hand till the kitchen, the vitrified flooring caught my attention. I asked Nil to get a floor mat from the dry balcony. He placed the floor mat down and asked me ….

“This doesn’t work all by itself; do you have another hose and some contraption that fits on nozzle.”
“Yeah, I do” I pulled out the necessary things from the drawers.

We fit contraption on the nozzle and Nil spilled water, dropped utensils in his fight to fit the new hose to the burners. As I proceeded to ignite, Nil questioned …

“You were holding the cylinder for a long time dude. Either your gym is helping or the cylinder is empty”
“Shutttttttttttupppppppppp” I snorted and tried to ignite again. It didn’t,
“Champo, this cylinder is empty, no wonder you could lift it for so much time” Nil exclaimed.

The uncooked dosa and spicy chicken in the bowl were testing our limits. Survival of the fittest.

Effect 4:
“I know there is one more cylinder here” I opened the storage space below the burners. There was one cylinder there, its seal intact, which definitely meant it was full. The only problem was getting to it. I cleared some of the boxes, moved oil containers and reached the cylinder cursing the interior who had convinced mom that cylinder was the least important thing in kitchen (due to the pipe gas) and should be stacked in a remote place. After fixing the contraption, I got up and looked at Nil; he was going to utter something and I cut him point blank ……

“Don’t even think about saying it” I said
“Champ, I was pondering whether there is a problem with this burner. Do you have a spare set?”

I turned the knob and held the match on the burner; it sprang to life. Hurriedly I cooked seven-eight dosas. Chicken with dosa @ 2:30am tastes awesome. After dinner, we stood smoking in our balcony. Nil said blowing out a smoke rings ……..

“Therez lotsa fun having whisky”
“You bet ….. ”