Hair Technology

This is one of my cousins experience, he wanted me to share it with all of ya. Btw, when my cousin uses the word technology, it has a different meaning in each context, as if it inherits the features from a chameleon !!!

I wonder how I could do this today. But being a Gemini it was bound to happen with me one day. And finally the day arrived where I dallied with one of the most precious dead keratinized cells of my body, which I would never like to do… My Hair!

Right from childhood everybody is fond of their hair, u nurture them, style them for different events and take care of them.

So finally, after 26 years, I decided to do something with it and, at around 3 pm IST, I went to S- Cube Center (still wonder why its named is like this?).

“Why S- Cube Center?” just for curiosity, as I have lots in me, I asked that champion,
“Saab hum to yahaan kam kartee…malik ko hai pata hoga” said Guddu (Guddu is a Bihari, read with that accent!)
“What is a Cube?” he asked in split second
“Bloody idiot” I said in my mind “I am wondering what is S- Cube and this jerk wants a plausible explanation of a Cube?”

As usual, I never have answers for such interesting questions. “Married?” I changed the subject.
“Yes saab, 2 years backs, that’s why I am working here” Guddu replied

I said I can understand… But then suddenly I got more worried about my hair and wondered what the hell in life he was gonna do with them.

The salon was well designed, with lot of lights, gels and creams all around the place, a big mirror, comfy chairs with nice cushion (Oops I forgot one more thing, awesome music). I made myself comfortable and requested Guddu that I need an hair cut !

With both the hands he touched my hair. Unfortunately for me it was Guddu and I shouted loudly as to why Guddu and why not some girl? Hey folks, it’s a good idea to open a parlor where girls help u with all such things.

Coming back to reality (think BIG at least in such situations guys) ……….

“Your hair are in a very bad state “ Guddu said.
“Yeah, I know” I said and asked what should be done.
“Lemme think what should be done” he replied
“A Technical Evaluation? Ohhh No Plz …..” I muttered
“Why not straightening?” Mr Junior came forward
“No a Pepsi-Cut will look better!” Guddu said. I guess he had something else in his mind.
Pepsi-Cut reminded me of Ramdev Maharaj, “Pepsi can be used as a Toilet Cleaner and my new hair style as a brush dammit?”

“Will straightening help?” I asked and Guddu said it would suit me.
“What is the Cost of Pepsi Cut?” I asked him trying to comprehend the technology
“Sab milkaeee 120 bucks and then another 250 bucks for straightening” he said
“Ppopat bana rahii hoka merko…” I exclaimed.

Then after lot of discussion, in which, from Aamir to Abhishek, everybody’s hairstyle was discussed, I said fine, lemme blow some money. The technical evaluation on my hairs started at 3.30 pm.


To straighten the hair there was a Anti-Straitening gel. He applied it and combed my hair with a big comb. He did that for about 10 mins when he asked, “Do u need something to read till the hair dry. After they dry, we will able to set it properly”.

There wasn’t any other option, so I asked, “What is in store to read…. FilmFare or Stardust (which you will generally find in such places)”.

Guddu brought some issue, where, as usual, on the cover page there was King Khan (SRK). And bloody hell SRK’s interview at one end and Himmmmmmessshhhhh Bhai was giving me his Jhalak Dikhlaja Dose at the other end.

After hearing all the crap of Himesh Bhai and a cute interview of Aishya Takia for 20 mins the second phase came into picture.

I can define it as Modeling (hair but obvious). Guddu comes with the best model Mr.Vivek Oberio (ex - Aishwaraya). With some five different pictures he proposed my hairstyle could be made ditto Vivek.

“Forget it, I work in a Software Company and plz, I am not a Model” I passed out the idea. With all the possible ways, as he could have managed, he finally convinced me to say ‘Yes’.

And as usual ‘Sare Jaha Se Accha’ calls up (don’t think 2 much it was my sweet mom who called) and, without exchanging any pleasantries, fired a quick rounds of questions.

“Are you at the salon or some where else?” “What time r u coming home?” “U have 2 go 2 Deccan na?” “R u coming for lunch?” (I didn’t have any options)

I said “20 more mins……….. Bye!”

So finally Guddu Bhai made my hair look exactly like Mr.Vivek Oberio. I was so scared to get of that place with the though that if people observed my hair, what will they think?

I paid him the money and went directly to my house, had a quick wash and changed the hairstyle back to normal

In evening my illusions started and finally I had to write it. Hope you must have loved it.

Apache moments

We rocked, the whole place rocked. There wasn’t anything special about the evening. It was the last day with one of my best buddies, Chetan. He was gonna leave the next night, back to Germany. I had promised him a nice head banging nite, and not only me, but everyone else present there ensured that he had his share of fun.

We have been here innumerable times, but never been bored with anything. The lounges, chairs, tables, lamps, music, cocktails ……. the list is endless. Lot of intellectual talks to laugh on, lot of frustrations to drown, lot of stress to relieve, lot of celebrations to remember and lot of memories to cherish ……. thatz how I define da place, Apache Fluid Lounge (aka Nomads to a few regulars).

“So I called up the captain,
‘please bring me my wine’
He said, ’we haven’t had that spirit here since nineteen sixty nine’
And still those voices are calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say...

Welcome to the hotel California
Such a lovely place”

The evening begins with slow rock songs by Bryan Adams, MLTR, and Creed etc. Eagles Hotel California is the much awaited one. Shanker, our favorite bartender comes to us for the order. Well, to be candid, he already knows the order. A beer for me, Go To Hell for Amol, Vodka with sprite and lime cordial for Rohit and chicken platter for all of us. There hasn’t been much change in our likes for a long time. The waiter diligently places the order on our table and the evening picks up. Howz the gals doing, howz the new movie, howz you, me and them are the general things that we talk about.

“Someday we gonna rise up on that wind you know
Someday we gonna dance with those lions
Someday we gonna break free from these chains and keep on flyin”

Lovely song by Flipsyde - Someday, we have memoirs of some harsh facts of our life. The way we screwed up things, the way things screwed us up, as if to take revenge. We curse, we swear, we gulp a bottoms up.

“I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you”

Someone is in love. Lowers our hatred, boosts our spirits and we chat on how and when and where and why. Its really nice, the smile on his face, the way someone blushes when asked a personal question. With vodka, I believe, it hardly takes few seconds to teleport to your loved one. At times it reminds us of someone special. Plans are conceived, strategies revised with one goal “We would like clinking our Go To Hells on your engagement rather than a bottoms up of vodka to drown your disappointment. For heavens sake, Don’t botch up !”

“So close no matter how far Couldn’t be much more from the heart Forever trust who you are And nothing else matters Never opened myself this way Life is ours we live it our way All these words I don’t just say And nothing else matters Trust I seek and I find in you Everyday for us something new Open mind for a different view And nothing else matters”

We drift back to into the lounge again. We talk about our long term plans, investments, financial stability etc. We dedicate a song to our group by singing with James Hetfield, “Trust I seek and I find in you ……”. We talk about our friendship, some of the best moments we had together, a few best odysseys undertaken.

Bring me to life - Evanescence, In the end – Linking Park, Kryptonite - 3 Doors Down … puts us in the head banging trance. The beer flows from the pitcher into our mugs and then into our throats tranquilizing adamant, latent tensions. The whole lounge is packed and Shanker and his buddies see to it that there isn’t a single table empty. As the evening progresses, everyone seems to enjoy the music as if it were a karaoke nite. Lots of requests flow to the DJ, at times on a paper napkin or by shouting in front of him.

The last song is the best part of the evening. B.C Sutta by Zeesh or Bandeh – Indian Ocean for Black Friday are the favorites. I cherish my last b’day when we celebrated it at Apache. We had a blast the whole evening, lots of Go to Hell, beer and vodka with lime cordial, chicken platter, chicken sandwiches and finger chips. The best part was the Tequila shots and a request by my cousins to play “Who Lamhe – Zeher”. The DJ announced the song being dedicated to me on my birthday; the whole crowd shouted birthday greetings and each of my bro greeted me with a hug. My b’day eve, still makes me nostalgic, still fresh in my mind as if we blew up just yesterday.

++ Empty !!

Controversies!!Baseless allegations!!Hate!!Insult!!Loss!!Shock!!Loneliness!!Emptiness..Life is sucha rollercoaster..one moment you are highly low!the other really high..happiness and sadness are such a part of life..but what if only the latter keeps coming your way!!all those efforts put in don’t seem to show any result..all those statements pierce you..rip you off!!those mysteries remain unsolved..those false praises seem to unveil the hidden truth..those words stab..that laughter hurts..those tears dry..that fake love.. that fake statement..that fake smile..everything seems so different..everything so farce..ironically the only one cribbing is you!!and the world laughs!!no one seems to understand..no one seems to hear..that when emptiness creeps in and you are gripped with fear..when life seems meaningless..when you just dont know where to go..the hatred is intense so is the guilt..but you cant erase it..you have to live with it..you wonder what were you up to then..wht were you thinking..what made you take those random decisions that now you are repenting..this may seem like a rhyme but nothing else comes to the mind..lost in the puzzle of time..that whn emptiness creeps in..it makes you feel meek,it makes you feel weak..that zest that zeal seems to be lost sumwhere..where no man can find..the hollow in the heart stops you from working..the air makes your throat go dry..your thinking fails yourself and you wonder was that mine..will it ever be mine..tears seem to fade away..Consolations you don’t find..rather dont want..and all you do is whine..Abuses wont have an effect, hurls wont make a difference..life comes to a complete full stop..those blessings turn into curses..those promises are broken..those moments lost..that adventure seems to lead to no new venture..hope seems to be lost in the dark..faith is a dream..love cant be seen..you don’t need attention..you don’t want that fake affection..you don’t need touch..you don’t need hate..you don’t need love..you find no comfort in anything by and large..you don’t want that pity..Numb!!that you have become..That when you feel Empty !