Java Programmers aren't BORN !!!

In most of the interviews, which I have conducted till date, the candidates frequently ask me: “How can I become a good Java programmer?” or “How can I improve my Java skills” or “How did you learn Java”. I thought of sharing some of my methodologies, which might prove useful to some of you.

There is really no short cut to mastering Java, so in this column I will try to talk about the pedagogy. Let us picture for a moment, that a fan is asking Sachin Tendulkar a similar question about cricket:
Fan: "Good morning Sachin, my son would like to start a career in cricket. What advice can you give him?"
Sachin: "Is he playing in Ranjhi?"
Fan: "Oh no, he does not play cricket, but he follows it religiously on television. He has all the statistics on his finger tips"
Sachin: "Oooooh. What other sports does he play?"
Fan: "He plays soccer …… on his computer, you heard about Fifa98/99 …2004. Other than that, we once played table tennis together."

The point I am trying to make here is, you cannot learn Java just by reading fat books by international authors. You need to dirty your hands by writing programs, go through the pain of writing and compiling programs without IDEs and code assist.

Where and how does it all start?
Becoming a programmer starts early in life. You would have been at a great advantage if you were good in mathematics and physics. Here I am not looking for the tools that you learn doing maths, but rather the interest in "thinking" subjects. There are two types of java programmers; ones who know the legal constructs by heart and others who can think in Java.

Then the next step is to want to program for relaxation. Yes, you heard me right. It is not always necessary that the code you write will be used in the project that one is working on. You can code utility methods for some one working on a different project or just practice what you learnt, but all of this apart from the regular deliverables, chat, orkut and mailers. When I embarked on my programming career, all I did during free time was to download code samples from the Internet and study the behavior. It really did not make any sense at first, but as I read through tutorials and code samples, things started correlating.

I believe that being a programmer is not a job; it is a life. In order to learn it, you need to eat, breathe and sleep Java. There should be very few waking moments where you are not thinking about Java.

Let's say, for example, that your official work hours are 9:00am to 6:00pm. It is what happens after those hours that will determine your future as a programmer, i.e. what are you doing between 6:00pm and 9:00am. Before you set off for work, you could be programming in Java. And what about the time from 6:00pm (when you get home) until 23:59:59? If we take into account a few responsibilities, you have an additional 1.5 hours in the morning, and 3 hours in the evening.
I am not making this up. If you want to be a good Java programmer, you need to have the dedication to further your own knowledge "after hours". Instead of orkut, surf for Java concepts, Object orientation, Design Patterns, etc.

The key is the drive behind what you do. If your motivation to be a Java programmer is just to do a job, and to thereby earn a salary, you will never be good. Becoming an excellent Java programmer is neither difficult nor too easy. Follow these steps:

1. Read Java Complete Reference thrice. The first time for legal constructs and sample codes, the second time for understanding the concepts and the third for understanding how to use the concepts programmatically.
2. Program for pleasure, not for money. Spend at least few hours of your own time per day on learning more about programming in Java.
3. Never stop learning. The half-life of our IT knowledge is 18 months. We cannot afford to stand still; otherwise we will be obsolete in a very short period of time.
4. Don't read books - study them. When I read a new Java book, I open it next to my workstation and then I type in the code as I progress. This is a bit slower, but you learn faster.

There are very few people who have the potential to become good programmers. It is a tiny percentage of the programmers on the apex of the pyramid that can do it. Our goal is to reach the apex. These are some thoughts on how to become an excellent Java programmer. They are tough jobs to do, and by no means complete, but are meant to get you thinking.

The way it goes

My girlfriend was grumpy when I met her yesterday. I was trying to recollect the reason, which might have freaked her out. Something I had done or the way I behaved, a commitment I breached, what was it? After a dead pause of few minutes I decided to break the silence.

“Out with it, whatz wrong sweetheart?” I whispered in her ear
“Just don’t talk to me” she yelled
“Chill babe! At least tell me why are you so freaked out?” I questioned her with authority
“Ya, exactly, now ask me why am I angry. You don’t even understand the way you hurt me” she lamented
“Ok, now tell me na” I said
“You are so busy with your professional life, new house and friends that you don’t even have time for me” she cried
“Hey when did this happen? I though everything was going on fine, suddenly this feeling of insecurity?” I asked
“Just the other day, you were hanging out with your friends at Apache and I called, you didn’t even talk to me properly” she gave me a nasty look.
“Come on, the other day even you hung up, so I guess we leveled now?”
“Don’t talk to me, go and work, go”

And then I remembered, all the conversation raced through my mind like water gushing out of Khadakwasala when they open the gates. Look at the amazing antithesis.

Scene 1: I am with my friends at Apache

Cell : Miss Special calling .. Pehela Nasha ringtone . Miss Specials eyes as thumbnail.
I : Hello
She : Hi!!!!!
I : What are you doing
She : Waiting for tomorrow, to meet you sweetz
I : Me 2
She : You are having beer again?
I : Again, it was a WEEK back when we had one
She : NO, its not a WEEK back, its JUST A WEEK BACK
I : Just one simple, innocuous beer. (Well we never stop at one, but this line brings in awesome
emotions). So shall we talk tomorrow?
She : No, I want to talk to you just now
I : We are meeting tomorrow na?
She : Still, I want to talk to you just now, tomorrow and day after also (in a childish tone)
I : It’s my friend’s farewell sweetheart
She : So? You can’t talk to me?
I : Our conversation seldom ends in 5 min
She : I am your girl friend
I : Yeah, but we are meeting tomorrow, so we can always talk then
She : But I want to talk to you just now. I don’t care where you are
I : Try to understand
She : I don’t want to understand
I : Please
She : NO
I : Ok, now I will hang up
She : Look at you, least bothered, you wait and watch tomorrow
I : Hehe, good night, love you
She : ME 2 (when she is angry she won’t say love you 2, it ends with me 2)

Scene 2: She is with her friends and I call

Cell : Neha. calling .. regular ringtone.. no thumbnail (that dot distinguishes me from
the real Neha)
I : Hi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She : Neha is coming, I can’t talk right now, bye bye bye bye, Click
I : ?????????????????????????????????

The DJ plays Linking Park – Numb ……………..

I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
I've become so tired, so much more aware
I'm becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me, and be less like you

Well that’s how it goes. Their wish is our command, our wish is their profanation.

The story so far .... - Reaching Threshold, ETA……

Note: The names (of individuals and organisations) mentioned in this following text are fictitious and resemblance to any person living or dead or to an organization existing/acquired/merged/closed/doomed is purely by coincidence. The author does not intend to hurt the sentiments of any individual/organization in any way.


1998-99 was the acme of software industry. The dot com boom appealed to all the young blood having knowledge of computers. The stipends and salary structure were very lucrative and many even migrated to States. I was in first year of my engineering ….. Electronics and telecommunication.

I had selected E&TC engineering by choice, but the market scenario, during that year, claxoned that the years to follow were for software. I have a vivid recollection of the campus recruitments going on in our college during my second academic year 1999-2000. I was in control systems practical which was conducted by one of the best professors in the electronics faculty. We were working on some electric motor assignment where you vary the tension on the motor and the current drawn is more when the torque is to be kept constant. I was sitting on a stool with Rohit Bhat and Kunal Bhide, my colleagues, on my left and right. Rohit never liked the idea of staring doltishly at the apparatus, when the results obtained were aberrant, during practical. He followed a simple philosophy, either the results were right or the setup-procedure was wrong.

“Fish!! What are we doing here folks?”
“Chill dude, lets see where are we going wrong” Kunal retaliated.
“That damn motor’s not going to work all by itself dudes, Mulay is gonna fry our arse.”
“Hmmm, the results are right but we ain’t using the formulae correctly” I smiled.

And just then three girls walked into our lab. Two of them were from final year engineering Computer Science and one from final year Electronics and Telecommunications. Clad in white Punjabi dress with blue dupatta, MIT girls looked beautiful on Mondays and Thursdays that’s when it was obligatory for us to wear our uniforms. It had been the start of the campus recruitment in our college and the myriad list of companies overwhelmed all the students.

The year 2001-02 was not that remunerative as speculated.

We were in the final year of engineering and the first activity on the first day of college was to check up list of companies coming for campus recruitment. The batch that passed out a year previous to us saw near about 70% placement for the college as whole and nearly 100% for CompSci and E&TC departments except for few students who were year down. With such placements happening in our campus, the 2002 batch was very optimistic. Companies listed for the first week, to pick up the cream, were myflex, TCS, MBT, Bindingviews, TTIL, Calsoft, IBM, TataInfotech and many more. Our college did not have the dream job concept, so once a student was selected by a company, he could not appear for other companies. This was done so that all the students get a fair chance. Rohit and I expected to get placed at least by third day of placements as by then the cream would have been already selected. This meant the companies, listed for the first two days of recruitment, would have to select fifty odd students total from various streams, which would promote us to the cream layer for companies coming third day onwards. On the whole, we all were overjoyed, overwhelmed.

Our joy was short-lived. TCS backed out the day it was supposed to come. Lots of students cleared the criteria set by myflex for taking the aptitude test, as the criterion was very reasonable. But myflex shocked us by selecting only five students, 2 from CompSci and 3 from E&TC. There were another 45 to go the next day according to our logistics.

It was the second day and I went to pick up Rohit at his residence.

“Dude, lets hope the numbers are correct this time” Rohit said as he sat behind, on my Splendour.

“Yeah, lets hope for the best buddy, I hope Bindingviews doesn’t ditch us today” and I bit my tongue.

Rohit gave me a nasty look and patted my back as a signal that things will be fine. We both were decked up, clean shaven, light blue shirt and navy blue trousers pressed to be crisp, a navy blue tie with a golden tie pin, black formal shoes, all the dandruff exterminated with Head&Shoulders, hair brushed to shine and a very decent hair-style to go with the formal apparel. All in all, the whole trouble was to at least appear as a gentleman at first sight. But we were not the only ones like that, absolutely everyone were polished, we all looked confident, but were tensed within.

We waited, waited for long, an hour passed in anxiety, the next half an hour served as anxiolytic time and the hour after that passed in complete boredom.

“Dude, you are an asshole” Rohit shouted
“Hey, I ain’t Bindingviews” I retorted
“They ditched us man, they ditched us” Rohit lamented

Just then our placement coordinator came to the hall where companies hosted their Pre-Placement Talk (PPT) and addressed us

“I am sorry to tell you, my friends, that Bindingviews has postponed their recruitment till further notice and they aren’t the only ones, Calsoft and IBM too have deferred the campus placements. Fortunately we have Kinbay coming in day after tomorrow and TataInfotech in next week”

I dunno why he called us friends when it was apparent that he was of our uncle’s age and his comportment resembled to a grandfather. Well whatever, this address meant that there was not a single company for two days and our logistics failed miserably.

Kinbay’s PPT was interesting. The HR, from Kinbay, had intriguing presentation skills. Dressed in beige color trousers and black top, the dusky female really had lot of eyes ogling at her. She started the PPT with the company’s profile, operations carried out from their India offices and career path for trainees recruited from campus. She had this uncanny style of emphasizing on certain key words with her hands. She swayed her hands vertically with her finger curled, as if to show a ‘V’ with each hand, and as she brought her hands down, her index and middle finger would be drawn in, all to suggest double quotes surrounding the word she just uttered.

Let us call this style as HOOBA-HOOBA.

“We follow an“ HOOBA-HOOBA “informal work culture”
“We have“ HOOBA-HOOBA “flexi-timing”
“We have“ HOOBA-HOOBA (pro-longed!)“extra-curricular activities like picnics, parties, music shows etc”
“We have as special“ HOOBA-HOOBA “marriage bonus!”, ummmmmm , the expression on our face was “try us, we are pretty gullible :D”

“We gift” HOOBA-HOOBA “Rs.10,000 when an employee gets married, and if you marry someone within” HOOBA-HOOBA “Kinbay, you get Rs.20,000 collectively”. Woah, what an incentive to join the organization, you not only have code to develop but also, lot of other missions like woo a gal from the organization, sweetheart commitments, singing dancing for her, just to earn about Rs.14000 when you and your chick settle (Rs.14000 is the figure after deducting 30% for IT purposes with the assumption that we fit in that slab).

Towards the end of the PPT, they screened a film in which they had captured the company campus, the cubicles, employee interaction, coffee lounge and the most ridiculous thing, according to Rohit and I that one could ever show to promote ones company; glimpses of Kinbay guys and gals in HOOBA-HOOBA swimming-suit, beat that, Kinbay’s trip to water kingdom …… uncensored, uncut!

Kinbay’s gals in swim-suits lingered in our minds even if we felt it that was a miserable publicity stunt. We did not sit for Kinbay and I don’t even remember who got selected and what happened after that. The next was TataInfotech, whose test was full of puzzles and hardly few of us cleared it. TataInfotech left us disappointed and for the next whole week we were free with TTIL scheduled on next-to-next week start, Monday.

Decked up again, we impatiently waited for TTIL guys to arrive. Rohit kept an eye on me to prevent me from saying the unsaid. After a brief PPT, we took the test. 12 of us got through and we waited for the group discussion. I had already formulated a strategy of united we stand with Rohit. So we were going to have a collaborative group discussion. As we walked into the room, we were given number tags. A capital D had been formed with the arc comprising of chairs occupied by us and the straight line comprising of the table occupied by the panel. We occupied the chairs whose number resembled with the tag in our hand. Let us call it coincidence. On the start of the arc was Rohit with Prashant and Siddhart, following him. Then the middle arc had Aniket, Shalini and Shweta. The bottom arc was filled with Ashwini, Divya and me. Rohit and I, we were bang opposite each other, which was helpful in a way. We were expecting topics like “Liberation of women” or “Reservation in Post Graduate courses” or “Globalized view of India’s economy”, but the panel surprised us by picking up “Modulation” as the topic for group discussion.

“Modulation” I said in my mind, “what the hell are we going to discuss about it in a group?”

There were three types and each type had a paragraph explaining the fundamentals. And everyone had pretty much the same knowledge about modulation. We all were just staring at each other. I had done some homework about the do’s and don’ts in a GD. So I decided to take the role of a facilitator in the GD.

“So today, we will discuss on modulation. What is modulation, what are the different types and where each is used? What are the advantages and disadvantages of each” I nervously introduced the topic in an equally nervous group.

“Modulation is transmission of base wave over a carrier wave” I started defining the insipid communication technique.
“There are three types of modulation” Mr. Someone just pitched in.
“Yes, you are right, there are three types indeed, AM (Amplitude Modulation), FM (Frequency Modulation) and PM(Phase Modulation)” I replied with an expression that I didn’t like the way Mr. Someone interposed my oration on modulation.
“So lets hear about AM from Rohit, FM from Prashant and PM from Mr. Someone” I delegated the discussion to Rohit. Now PM was the toughest to explain and Mr. Someone had a tough time explaining it. When he started defining PM the rest of the group took the role of the opposition party, questioning each and every word he said about PM and its advantages and disadvantages. We were on the verge of defining an “HOOBA-HOOBA Anti-PM”, which was not only simple to implement but also had no trade-offs, seemed absolutely invulnerable to any losses and outran all the existing modulation techniques.

The panel couldn’t take any more of this nonsense and the GD ended. The interviews were not all that good and TTIL ended up recruiting one from CompSci and one from E&TC. Rohit and I were still without a job in hand to boast about.

Weeks passed, months passed, campus recruitment hibernated and we couldn’t even believe that it was already the last day of college, the last paper of engineering, the last of four years of graduation and to top it all I was without a job. We heard about our seniors getting decline letters from the companies in which they were placed. Some blatantly declined, some diplomatically postponed joining till further notice while some had the decency to pay a months salary and cancel the appointment. It wasn’t a good year for our seniors or for us.

I collected my BE result, I had scored First class in last year and also in aggregate of four years. I was one of the rain drops falling that year; I was one of the countless confused graduates contemplating the contingent future. I had dreams to fulfill, desire to grow, passion to excel and I was ready to take the next step, but it appeared blurred. I was reaching threshold, expected time of arrival 0 hundred hours.

The story so far .... - Prologue

Dreams …… the word has a plethora of meanings signifying the use in each context of reference. It can be a series of mental images and emotions during sleep or imaginative thoughts indulged while awake. It can be a cherished desire at times or nothing else than a fantastic but vain hope. In simple terms it is someone or something wonderful.

We all dream. We dream about our future, about the life style one would like to live or the kind of work one would be complacent doing for rest of the life. We dream about our accomplishments and achievements. At times, we even dream of our past and how it would change what we are today, if it were a bit different. We dream …………. and only few of us work towards our dreams. Lots of dreams fail to incarnate and many simply sublime just to be reminisced as yet another Laputan memoir.

Dreams …………. such a wonderful state of mind, governed by our sub conscious mind, which is not biased, but reasonable. Understanding our dreams helps us understand deeper meaning of life, pursuing our dreams helps to spark passion, encouraging us to endure in achieving our goals.

Very well explained by the copy writer of Honda’s ad, “We don’t say, see a dream, we say, realize a dream”.

The power of dreams …….. Abysmal!

Techno Savvy Trip

Monday morning my brother pinged me, he wanted a break. Even I was drained out with the way we worked the last weekend. Monday morning blues subdued my adrenaline to its end. This Monday was the second last Monday with Triple Point Technology as I was to join UniGraphics Systems from 3rd of April’ 06. So we started short listing different places that we could visit on a three day weekend.

Bhandardara is a nice hill station near Nashik, which is about four hours drive from Mumbai or Pune. When google searches returned futile results, most of the three day weekend places were already covered by us; we zeroed in our destination as Bhandardara. We launched a full fledged hunt for resorts, places of interest and road maps for Bhandardara. After collating the information we were all set for kickoff for Friday morning. I was to head out to Mumbai on Thursday night where I would meet my brothers Nil and Adi and we all were scheduled to leave at seven in the morning.

Graf von Moltke’s thesis on military theory can be summed up with his famous saying, “No battle plan survives contact with the enemy”. It proved true in our case too. For us, planning is merely squandering available resources (time is money, money can buy resources and internet is one of the resourcesJ). We never contemplate on the Gaussian effects contributed by circumstances, which deviate end result.

My car was due for servicing and I thought it would be a wise decision to have it serviced before the long journey. I gave the car for servicing, on Wednesday morning, at Chowgule Service Station, hoping that they would return it at least on Thursday. I had warned him not to touch the engine as I was dubious about the clutch plate and if it had to be fixed, it would require two days. Turning a deaf ear to my instructions and proving how good a service engineer he was, the guy in charge of car opened the gear box and gave me a call telling me that the clutch plate was damaged big time and should be fixed before any long drives. You generally do not test your luck by consuming an eatable when you have been diligently forewarned of the eatable being poisoned. Now fixing of the clutch plate meant that the car would be ready for pickup on Friday morning. It was time for change of plans.

Adi suddenly got enlightened on Monday morning that before taking a date for GRE, he needed a valid passport. So he registered online, for an appointment at the passport office. Now this appointment was scheduled for Friday at ten in the morning, the same day when we were to head out for our vacationL. Well time for change of plans again.

Friday morning, I called up the service station and they told me that my car was ready for pickup and the whole clutch repairing had cost some thousands of rupees. So I left my place at eleven in the morning to pick my call up and a pandemonium of phone calls started. The first from Nil saying Adi had not taken his cell phone along and it was impossible to trace his whereabouts. The next was from my dad explaining me how to reschedule our trip so that things did not get messy. As I picked up my car I noticed that it was low on fuel and I would have to take a detour to the gas station. Just as I was about to leave for my place, Nil called me to confirm if the deck in my car was fixed and I remembered that it was long broken and hadn’t been mended. He also told me that Adi had still not returned, it was one in the afternoon then. So I searched for a car décor shop en route home. I found one but unfortunately for me his engineer had gone for lunch and it would take about an hour for his return. So I headed for the car décor from where I had put the seat covers. Even he was having his lunch and I had waited till he was done. He skillfully removed the deck and had stared at it for few minutes. Then he tried pushing in a cassette put in vain. Finally he excogitated that only an audio mechanic would be able to repair that deck. I thanked him and left for my home perturbed with thoughts of a long journey with a conked off deck. “Someone selling shirt need not always be able to mend the buttons” became a conviction for me. On my way home, Nil called up again to ask whether I had left for Panvel, that’s according to our new plan, and reiterated that Adi had still not returned and it was nearing two in the afternoon. I decided to given a last try at Sonam electronics, a noted electronics repair shop specialized in washing machines, fridges, television sets, audio systems and other home appliances. To my hard knock, as a good old Pune etiquette, the shop was closed in the afternoon. After scavenging the Aundh gaon shops, I gave the idea as it was getting late.

I left at fifteen minutes past three in the afternoon and after ten minutes drive remembered that I had forgotten to withdraw money. Again I headed back to the atm when Nil called me.

“Champ, where are you” he asked. “Haven’t you left?”
“Yeah, I am on my way, has Adi returned ?” I enquired
“I think I will go to passport office and check if he has fallen asleep in their a.c. room, he hasn’t even called back” said Nil
I replied in monotone, “Cya at Datt, Panvel, ETA 5:15pm” and hung up.

Nil called me again and sounded happy “Adi has come back, we will leave now so that we can meet you at 5:15pm. Champ, did you get that deck fixed?”
“For heavens sake, stop reminding me of that cursed deck” I said in my mind, “No dude, not a single fella amongst 40 lakh humans living on 400 sq kms area i.e Pune could successfully mend it. If I reach early, I will try to get it fixed in Panvel”
“I think you chaps are gonna make me sing again this time” Nil groaned
“Give the cell to Adi, I want to talk to him” I told Nil, who promptly handed over the cell to Adi
“AmeDa, how are you” asked Adi
“Yeah I am coolz, have you taken your iPod with you? I have taken my cd player and the Apache fluid lounge cd with me”
“Awesome. I have taken the iPod, Nil is asking if you took the DigiCam along”
“Yeah, I have, bye, cya”
“Bye”

The drive to Panvel was awful especially because the deck was not functioning and Pune FM is so gratifying that its RJ’s can beat Chinese torture. I reached Panvel and called up Nil to check his ETA and he said they would take atleast half an hour max. Before hanging up he reiterated to try and get my deck fixed.

Now whatz so much with that deck? Well, we were a bunch of gizmo freaks. I was carrying a portable CD player, Nil was carrying an mp3 player and Adi had an iPod. We also had a cassette adapter for connecting any audio device to the deck. Nil had also brought along his Acer laptop, in case the iPod runs out of battery or my Digital Camera runs out of memory. Now the only hurdle was that the deck was not playing any audio cassettes, only the radio was functioning properly.

So I drove into Panvel city on an audio mechanic hunt. Luckily I found a dilapidated shop stacked with lot of audio systems and speakers. I took a chance and asked the guy to introspect on plausible mending of the audio deck. I was amazed at the way he maneuvered to the heart of the audio system. He asked me when do I need it fixed and I said just now because I had to head a long way. He said he had seen JVC systems and he could fix the problem. He offered me a chair and I obliged him. We chatted about his business as he greased the parts of the deck for smooth functioning.

“If you have such an in-depth knowledge about these gadgets then why don’t you work with good companies, say like Philips?” I asked

He replied “Look sir, today you came to me with this conked of deck and asked me to repair it for you immediately. If I would have been in a bad mood, I would have simply refused. Had I been with Philips, irrespective of any damm thing in this world, I would have had to fix it. Main apni marzi ka maalik hoon!”

I was surprised. It was his dignity that he valued as his prized possession and I did not want to get into the thought process of what was the most valuable thing to me. After he fixed the deck back in the car and it worked, I asked him how much did it cost? He said his labor charges are Rs.150 and Rs.10 for the drive bands that he changed. I gave him Rs.200, I was more than happy to have that deck fixed and thought Rs.160 to be a bit less, as, for the work he did, which no one in whole Pune could do.

Drove back to Datt where Nil and Adi were waiting impatiently for me sharing a Marlboro lights.

“Champ, why was your cell out of coverage?” asked Nil
“My cell was having a bath” I replied as I was in no mood to discuss why and how.
“AmeDa, the deck is working” Adi shouted
“Yeah, I got it fixed just now, dammit Pune Airtel does not have coverage in that area, okay guys lets move, we gotta lotsa driving ahead” I urged.

It was 6:00pm by the time we put a new plan in place. We decided to head out to Guhaghar and Hedvi as Bhandadara was out of question, no one even knew the road from Panvel to Nashik. After purchasing batteries, mineral water and couple of cigs we headed out for NH17. Adi was the CJ and he was in a fix what to play first. Chiplun was our first destination and the boards revealed that it was 212km from where we were. So we dropped the idea and decided to seek a lodge at Mahad which was about 130km.

Nil was seating in the navigators seat doing everything else possible other that navigation. We have this uncanny habit of taking wrong road at T-junctions or crossroads. We missed a turn at Ispat factory and in couple of minutes found ourselves heading towards Alibaug. Enroute Mahad we were supposed to cross Pen, Roha, Mangaon. Nil went on a rampage asking people the correct route and everytime he took a name of different place

“Which is the way to Roha?”
“Boss, how to go to Mangaon?”
“Bro, is there a road to Pen?”

Finally a bozo directed us to a road towards Nagothane. It was dark outside and M800’s Kenwood and Sony speakers echoed A.R.Rahman’s Rubaru from Rang de Basanti to soothe our grumpy mood for losing directions. Adi was trying to figure out where we would join NH17. He was using a bio-friendly torch, a torch without batteries and bulb but worked on some contemporary gas ionization technology, to search for Nagothane in Maharashtra map, which I had taken along.

“So Mr Back Seat Driver, where are we heading to?” I asked Adi.
“Basically we are heading nowhere” Adi replied, “Did we pass Rampur?”
“Boss, if it was Ramgad, we could have atleast seen the place where they shot Sholay!” came Nil’s contribution to our road hunt.
“Hey dude, why don’t you keep a watch on the road for Basanti Tangewalli, mebbe Ramgad is nearby and she might be ferrying people, we will pay her to dance for us, without any broken glass bottles, and have a blast!” I hinted Nil.
“Champ, lets stay in Alibaug and head out for Goa tomorrow, early in the morning, just before sunrise” suggested Nil.
“Nil, see that Auto over there, ask him the road to NH17 or highway, cut those myriad place list from your mind please” I told Nil.
“How do we get to NH17?” Nil asked the driver
“Where?”, the driver stared back at us bewildered
“Where is the highway?” I shouted
“Keep following this road” the driver said pointing to the road ahead of us

After driving for about half and hour we finally touch NH17 and M800 accelerated to cover some of the lost time. It was 8:00pm and the boards showed Mahad about 100kms, Chiplun 183 kms and Panaji 425kms. Nil does not know how to drive a car, but he has tremendous confidence in mine and Adi’s driving. Banking on this confidence Nil put forward a hopeless suggestion of heading out for Goa, which we dismissed immediately. Adi was in mood for rock, and M800 filled with head banging songs from System of a Down – Toxicity, 3 Doors Down – Kryptonite, LimpBizkit – Take A Look Around and we sped towards Mahad.

Visava is a nice lodge strategically located on NH17. It has affordable room rents, delicious food and you can have drinks in your room or in the garden adjoining the highway. We ordered for a few beers, prawns and mutton and while the food came, I had a nice bath to freshen up as our vacation had just begun. Nil put a gazhal’s playlist, to entertain us for couple of hours, on his laptop. We clinked our glasses and had a big gulp and I could literally feel the beer exploring different places inside my bodyJ. We talked about the funny incidences I had while seeing my prospective brides, the traditional way in which this program is conducted and some hilarious moments. Late nite we surfed the television for sleazy stuff and found one channel playing Veerana, a supposedly horror movie by Ramsay brothers. Off all the movies directed, produced, written and what not by Ramsay family, Veerana was the best they could ever make. We slept pretty late that night.

We woke up late on Saturday. I had hell of a time waking Nil and Adi. It was as if a rector waking up his hostel boys. I ordered for tea, surprisingly priced at Rs.11, and we had a quick breakfast before leaving for Chiplun. Adi took the wheel and M800 zoomed towards out next destination. We had planned first to search for a lodge in Guhaghar and after dumping our luggage, go out for sight seeing. Nil called up Adi’s dad to get the numbers of some good resorts in Guhaghar. One of the resorts, Karmayog, was located about 14kms away from the beach and we did not see any point staying so far away. We were looking for a beach side resort where we could chill out in the evening, watch the sun go down while gulping down a Kingfisher, smoking during the twilight and eating fish in the cool sea air. We scavenged whole of Guhaghar for a nice beach resort and well, this ain’t Hawaii, and our search did not yield anything good. So we decided to have a nice sea food lunch and then head to Hedavi, where we thought we could find something worth Mr Fockland’s taste. Ooh, yeah, Mr Fockland is one more name for Nil, he dreams of resort with a pool table, a lodge with a Jacuzzi and where they also serve vodka on the rocks with lots of ice, three day trip to Goa with a belly dancer and so on.

We found a nice hotel serving authentic Malwani style lunch. He hurried us in as it was the last call and the hotel was about to close. We ordered for three rice plates with fish fry, prawns and chicken. I gulped down an entire bottle of Bisleri soda + salt + lime, just to ease the Gulf war that had started in my stomach the night before. Solkadi is an awesome drink that goes well before, during and after the Malwani lunch and we drank about nine glasses that’s three per head. The hotel owner was a nice guy and showed us some maps of places of interest in Guhaghar, Hedvi etc. The bill surprisingly came to a very nominal amount. That’s one good thing about these places, how much ever you eat, the bill is way way less than what we pay here in the metros.

With Nil checking out the details in the map, the three of us left for Hedavi. We first visited the Ganapati temple and after the darshan, we left for the beach. Our plan was to spend the evening in Hedavi and return to Chiplun for the night stay. In this way we would be near the national highway and could leave a bit late the next morning.

Hedavi has two beaches, one with black sand and the other is rocky. One of nature’s creations found at Hedavi are water fountains. There is a crevice formed in the rocks along the coast. During high tide, water from the waves gushes in the crevice and splashes upwards to give a fountain effect. We trekked our way through the rocks. Reached the last visible rock and sat there watching the sunset.

On our way back, it was time to rock with some beer. So I took the wheel and Adi and Nil opened the KF cans on our drive back. Nil was the CJ playing different numbers from the Apache Fluid Lounge cd, which I had got along, and the mood changed from soft rock to hard rock to heavy metal. We reached Chiplun at 9:00pm and checked-in at a hotel named Vanashri. Ordered for couple of beers and prawns, had a nice dinner and slept as we were exhausted. We had a quick breakfast the next morning and sped home. En-route we had lunch at a motel, whose service was so pathetic that we spent about 2 hours sipping 7-UP and Pepsi, smoking 5 cigs, clicking 20 odd pictures and on the verge of dying ‘coz of starvation till he served us our dal tadka and roti. But the taste was amazing, I guess even cow dung would have tasted like apple pie and gomutra like beer, had it been served to us.

After lunch, there wasn’t much left to enjoy as everyone was thinking and sulking on the fact that from tomorrow we all had to head for the same routine, same mundane work. We dropped Adi at Panvel and Nil and I drove back to Pune. Nil was continuously blabbering to keep me awake. We reached Pune in time without any traffic jams, I dropped Nil at CC and headed back home after enjoying an amazing vacation!

Bourne Intimacy

Warning: This blog contains adult content suitable for people above 21 years of age. If you feel offended by use of obscene and vulgar language for describing sleaze, please do not read ahead. The encounters depicted in the following text are fictitious and the names bearing resemblence to anyone living or dead is purely by coincidence.

Sam never liked coming back home, but, for past couple of months he eagerly looked forward to the return. He was married, but he detested his wife a lot; to such an extent that he had not even once made love to her. Family pressures and incomprehensible circumstances made him espouse Maya, a gal from his native place; a place far behind the metro’s happening lifestyle providing a reclusive calm with ripe and pristine woman. But it was not Maya that he looked forward coming home to; it was Kamini, his neighbor’s winsome and voluptuous wife.

Sam had developed interest in her when Rakesh and Kamini had shifted adjacent to their row house three months back. Kamini was dressed in knee length skirt and a white top, with its top button open, just enough to reveal her creamy bosom. She had slender legs, waxed as smooth as a mirror, curvy buttocks, slim waist, cute little hooters that hid behind her bra and a sexy face-cut. The luscious lips made her dainty smile into an erogenous attraction. Sam was instantly gratified looking at the new couple that moved next to his residence and regularly fantasized Kamini in bed.

Sam’s job profile required him to travel a lot and be away from home for days together. After work hours were usually spent prowling for pussy and screwing them. So engrossed was he in his promiscuity that he neglected his wife’s sexual urges. Off late his mind was working on fishing for the tantalizing body in his neighborhood.

Sam alighted from the cab in front of his house. He saw Rakesh stacking a suitcase in the taxi. Kamini was standing next to him in a flimsy kurta and knickers. She appeared to have blossomed to maturity just the night before.

“Are you planning to go somewhere?” Sam ambled towards them flashing a wide grin
“My mother is serious, I need to go to Cochin for a couple of days” Rakesh flicked a smile
“You are going to Cochin!” Sam threw a fugitive glance at Kamini
“She will be alone, please take care of her” Rakesh answered reading the question on Sam’s face.

This was the opportunity Sam was waiting to seize. Sam had tried to seduce her through various gestures in their frequent encounters at odd hours, but Kamini had politely and conveniently ignored them. Tonight, Sam planned to give his best of the performance like a bumble bee dance to attract the opposite sex.

Sam wasn’t expected to be in town as he was on a business trip. But due to weather forecasts, his superior had asked him to return back a day earlier. He mentally thanked his boss for the early trip back and headed to a nearby hotel. This move of his, he thought, wouldn’t make his wife suspicious of his to be wild nite with Kamini.

Sam reached Kamini’s residence at around 11o’clock. His loins were growing with the hunger of devouring each and every area of her voluptuous body. His heart thumped as he softly knocked the door. After a little pause, when he heard no movement inside, his eyes involuntarily darted little down and he hissed a ‘bloody fuck’ under his breadth. A big brass lock was hanging on the door. His face bore a contorted look and his fist instincts were to kick the door. But he decided against it due to the fear of waking the neighbors. Beneath his anger was an intense longing for Kamini’s body, which had again left him desperate. He stood there for few more seconds fighting to control the rage and suppress the burning desire and then decided to go to his house instead of standing in the dark with a humiliated ego.

A few moments later, he dawdled to his house in a depressed mood and pressed the door, which surprisingly he found unbolted and swung open instantly. His rage was further escalated due to his wife’s carelessness who had forgotten to close the door before going to bed. When he entered the bedroom, the prickle of irritation from his brain suddenly vanished and fresh wave of sexual passion rippled through him as he saw his wife sleeping on the bed in a seductive posture. Though the room was plunged in semi darkened, but still he could see her long hair tousled on the pillow framing her face. The sensual curves of her body were glorifying through the white flimsy night-gown which had clung to her probably because of profuse sweating. In spite of the reluctance, something forced him inside to inch towards her. He moved closer and a flush of heat throbbed in his loins when he found that she had nothing underneath. The round outline of the breasts, the black tips of the nipple and an ark triangle below the navel made a pulsing, maddening effect on his senses. For the first time his cock tightened and hankered for her body.

He silently sat on the bed, undid the buttons of her night gown with this trembling hands, still moving with such dexterity as they had stripped each whore in different hotel rooms. He had never seen her breasts so closely earlier and he caught his breath as the twin globes came in full view. He cupped one in each hand and squeezed gently. She squirmed slightly even under the haze of sleep, when he took one nipple in his mouth and tenderly kneaded the other boob. The burning passion and the heaving peaks made him forget how much he loathed her.

After suckling her hooters, he paused for a brief moment and slowly pulled up her night gown. She raised her body for free movement and gasped with a moan as he kissed and sucked her navel. He went back to the globes and licked each of the nipples and circled the aureoles with his tongue. Flicking his way with his tongue he reached for her navel and caressed her slit with his finger. He gave a long loving stroke to her vagina gently brushing aside the crinkle pubes.

An exotic fragrance reached his nose as he felt damp warmth to his fingers. She was aroused and so was he. Swiftly shifting over between her thighs, he leaned over her crotch to lap the dampness.

Maya woke up from her deep slumber when she felt a pair of hands and tongue exploring her most erogenous zone. She had half opened her eyes when she saw a head bent upon her cleft. She knew who he was and once again shut her eyes tightly as the questing tongue traveled deep in her slit sending tremors of delight through her whole body. She swayed her thighs in a rhythm as the busy tongue continued to lick every ridge and fold of her eager depths. Suddenly she sprang up with shiver when he flicked her clitoris with his tongue. The muscles of her clit quivered as she laid back and he found a new wetness to his tongue.

Sam’s cock strained for the sweet damp and it was on the verge of shattering explosion. Hurriedly he lifted himself to his knees and kept his engorged shaft on her narrow passage. Maya slightly spread up her thighs in anticipation, still closing her eyes and reveling in an inexpressible pleasure. When he slightly pushed the cock, he felt that it was smoothly being drawn in by her pulsating pussy and he gradually found himself sinking in as she wrapped her legs around him to press him further.

After he was fully embraced by her sweet chasm, he withdrew it and thrusted it again with such a force that it made her dig her finger nails into his back with a passionate squeal. As the tension build in his cock, he increased the pace and jabbed her incessantly matching her breathless gasps till he exploded in her sleek slit with shuddering spasms and slumped on her sapped kissing her neck.
Sam never thought the sexual encounter with his wife would be such an erotic treasure of desires that could satiate his passions beyond his fantasies. The first awareness developed in him a tender love for her. After a while when he lifted his head to suck her lips to evince a deep affection towards her, he felt a sudden rush of blood to his temples and a heavy bang in his chest as she circled one arm around his back, the other in his hair and softly whispered in his ear ………. ‘Please don’t come from tomorrow, dear Rakesh. My husband will be coming home’

Subtle Comparative

Hey folks …. I know it has been a long time that I posted an interesting blog here. A twist at the end with pinch of sleaze garnished with apt description will definitely help you to defy gravity, but I don’t intend to venture deep into that avenue. If you want to read some hardcore action, visit Bourne Intimacy .... Herez a lighthearted twist …..


Om was happily married to Shanti … (ok chill …. This sounds too stereotyped … Ummmmmmm let me get creative ….) Dev espoused Madhavi two years back and life was as adventurous as it could be. They never missed the well planned quarterly vacation in addition to weekend picnics, movies, dinners and lotsa other fun filled activities. Marriage was bliss and they both enjoyed each and every second of it. Their enthusiasm was augmented by another interesting bubbly couple; Akshay and Anupriya. Madhavi and Anupriya used to work in the same company and their husbands gelled well with each other due to two apparent reasons; beer and football. Both had immense respect for beer and followed football as a if it were religion.

Dev and Akhsay had brilliant career paths in their respective organizations and Akhsay’s job profile demanded him to travel to different countries on short term basis. He had his own way with the fairer sex while Dev was more of an introvert. Though Dev was more athletic, sculptured anatomy, chiseled face, wavy hair, having all the qualities of a Casanova, he lacked the basic arsenal of talking. Akshay on the other hand was a happy go lucky bloke, guy next door having charisma of sweet and impressive talk often winning deals for the company and company of exquisite pulchritude for himself.

Dev had to fly to the Bahamas for their company’s annual techhie offsite meet. His biological clock conked off after a nasty, turbulent flight from Mumbai. This was the fifth time that he had been traveling, but could never get himself accustomed to air travel, meals, sleep times ….. neither acclimatize to the mood created by Veronica … the popular bartender at their resort. His colleagues considered her to be an alchemist, in that she could age a JW BL from 12 to 18 years just by holding the bottle in her hand and could increase the alcohol percentage from 23.7% to 73.2% if she took a sip from your glass.

Veronica had dropped enough hints for any blighter to understand the invitation for a bar to bed odyssey, but Dev could never muster up courage to take the step forward.

This evening was different. Cool breeze and hot babes thronged the open bar and Dev’s sexual urges were complemented with the mini skirts, creamy waxed legs on stilettos, backless and cleavage revealing tops. Veronica threw a lusty glance as she topped his favorite ‘Vodka – on the rocks – lotsa ice – with lime cordial’ contraption with a double large peg. Blame it on the alcohol or on the perfume she was wearing, Dev was happy losing to his temptations ….. after all the only time when losing is more pleasurable over winning is when fighting temptations.

He took a sip while staring at her mind blowing bosom. She took a step forward, overwhelming him with the curves of her boobs, and whispered into his ears to accompany her to room number 2002. As he stepped out of the bar and followed her through the back door, he had broad smile on his face; that was the room in which he was put up. He was impressed.

His room was tidied up by house keeping and the glow of lights was dim. Just perfect for a hot wild encounter. He put the ‘Do not disturb’ tag on the door knob and went to the restroom to freshen up. The doorbell rang and he rushed to get the door. Veronica stood in the corridor clutching a bottle of wine to her cleavage, which made her boobs protrude into the space time dimension; enough to cause the proximity sensors to go haywire.

‘Hey gorgeous’ Dev said as he closed the door behind her
‘Cut the pleasantries and come here and be gentle on the curves’ Veronica said and she rolled on the bed in supine position

Dev undid her top and skirt reducing the clothing to lingerie. Her ten on ten body gave him an instant hard on. Stripping himself completely naked, Dev started with the foreplay. Gently kissing her blonde hair, he found his way to her outlined lips. They kissed passionately at first which then became a desperate hunger for each other’s body. She moved on top of him and planted kisses on his well built chest and toned abs. She took his hard on in her hand and gently stroked it. He felt blood rush into his loins and she stuck it in her mouth and sucked on it. She relished each and every seconds when she pleasured him with her tongue while doing the fellatio. Dev grabbed her hair and pulled her mouth to his, their tongues playing with each other and their breaths heavy. He slid under her and she sat on his mouth as his tongue devoured her vagina. He performed the cunnilingus with great skill, being gentle at the right places. Veronica’s moans instigated him more and he delayed the act till he was confident that Veronica was near climax. Veronica went on her knees as Dev slowly entered her from behind, feeling her moist vagina imbibe his erect phallus. He felt warm, he felt relaxed. They made out thrice that nite and each intercourse was more pleasurable than the previous. For rest of the nite she lay curled up in his arms occasionally kissing his neck and chest.

When Dev flew back, he had an unusual glow on his face which Akshay couldn’t miss.
‘Looks like someone had a nice time in Bahamas huh?” Akshay enquired
‘Hey, just between both of us ok …. I had a rocking time on the eve of my departure … (pun intended)” Dev replied
‘Ummmm hmmm ….. tell me about it, I am all ears’ Akshay could help hiding his excitement.
‘There is hot bartender in the resort where I was put in …Veronica …… Dude, she is better than Madhavi’

Akshay could feel his member defying law of gravity and he forced his mind to think about Tom & Jerry and Bill Gates. Back of his mind, he was working out a strategy to pay a visit to Miss Veronica. Pieces fell into place pretty quickly than expected and within a week’s time, Akshay was sipping martini and wooing Veronica. She wasn’t a tough quarry at all and for Akshay, it was piece of cake. He enjoyed each nite of his five day stay before he returned with the same glow on his face.

‘So …….. how was she’ quipped Dev
‘She is really better than Madhavi dude ….’ Akshay bit his lip.