So Close Yet So Far

It was 25th Oct 2006 then .....

I can read her eyes when she transfixes them momentarily onto mine. It feels as if she wants to say something but is intentionally withholding herself. Dainty face-cut with a “Happy Dent” smile (I hope everyone has seen the happy dent ad by now), meticulous in picking up outfits; she makes my proximity sensors go berserk every time I cross her. She is like a fountain of smiles, aura of bliss and flora of love. My entire neural network clogs when I think of her, I have butterflies in my stomach when I imagine holding her hand, and my heart skips a beat when she blinks her eyes. Her eyes; mesmerizing; they give a mind-blowing glance and it is worth witnessing the Divine Oculi.

I fell for her, when I saw her brushing aside silky hair from the forehead. I saw her hand, her fingers, filed fingernails….woah………. I fell. I fell big time, yet again, when I saw her standing on the stairs in a white Punjabi dress (girls really look awesome in white dress); in a fraction of a second I sampled the appearance; her face, her lips, trimmed eyebrows and maintained feet with regular pedicure. I knew the detonator was set somewhere deep inside me.

We were sitting beside each other on the beach watching the sun go down, enjoying sound of the ocean, softly brushing against the sand, feeling the wind on our faces. At times we were high up above the world watching the stars around us or taking a walk down the lane covered with canopy of trees or driving in my car listening to romantic songs.

Just then my cell rang and I was shaken to the real world. My colleague was calling me for a cup of coffee. Café Coffee Day’s motto …… A lot can happen over a coffee … and here I was wondering how to ask her out for coffee.

It’s really tough; you don’t always get what you want in life. I tried a lot to implement “When you don’t have what you like, then like what you have” and failed miserably. The other day I watched Cast Away. It brought me back to life. This is my monologue (on same lines as Tom Hanks)

“I had done all the math and later I added it up. May be I was afraid of losing her or hurting her, cause in the real world ‘Everything you like is either engaged, expensive or elder to you’. I initiated few conversations using various mediums only to find dull responses, all my plans failed miserably and I had power over nothing. That’s when this feeling came over me like a warm blanket. I knew what I needed to do. I had to keep breathing even though there was no reason to hope, even if my logic said I would never be able to make it. I have to wait till the tide gets me a sail to get away from the dream world. Get back to reality where she will never be mine, I would lose her. I need to be grateful that she was with me back then, in my dreams. And I know what I have to do now, I need to keep on breathing, because tomorrow the sun will rise and who knows what the tide could bring………….”

Its 25th March 2008 now ..... I am still breathing .... the tide brought me a sail ....she said yes .........